The Empire Strikes Back?

Ever wonder what it's like to watch a Star Wars movie with a kindergartner? 

Well, here you go. 

I present to you the 302 questions (2.5 per minute) Max asked me while watching The Empire Strikes Back last night:

Who is the oldest person on Star Wars?
Who is the youngest?
Who is in the middle?
Why do most bad guys want Luke to be a bad guy?
What's that?
Who's that?
Is he a good guy or a bad guy?
What's that?
Is Luke dead?
Was that a bad guy or guy that got him?
Are those bad guys or good guys?
Who's that?
What's he doing?
Why?
What's a Skywalker?
What's a highness?
Is he being bad?
Why do C3PO and R2D2 follow him?
What are they doing?
Why?
Daddy, how many good guy robots are there?
Where's Luke?
Where's that?
What's that?
Is Luke dead?
What's the monster eating?
Where's the monster?
What's that?
What's that on R2's head?
Who's that?
Why is he laying down?
Why did he fall down again?
Is that Lea?
Why?
Why poor Chewie?
What's Luke doing?
Who's that?
Is Yoda a Jedi master?
What's that?
Why is that little thing laying down?
Why?
What happened to that?
How?
Why does it not like the cold?
Are those good guys or bad guys?
What are they doing?
Why?
Why do they call him Solo?
Why is it Hans Solo?
But why do they call him Solo?
Who's that?
What's he in?
Naked?
Why are they fishing?
What's Luke saying?
What was Chewbacca saying?
Is the visitor a good guy or bad guy?
Who's that?
Where's Luke?
Who's that?
Who's the umpire?
Do Storm Troopers guard Darth Vader and the emperor?
Why?
Do they need guards?
What are Skywalkers?
Did the monster die?
Why is he in orange?
Is that the "Minnion" Falcon?
Are those good guys or bad guys?
Who are those two people?
What are they looking at?
Are those good guys or bad guys?
What's happening?
Why?
Who wins?
Daddy, can you please tell me who wins this time?
Are the good guys going to tie more ropes on the bad guys?
What happened?
Are they going to shoot him?
Bad guys lost... I mean the good guys lost?
What happened?
Is that the last one of those things?
What are the bad guys doing?
Is the "Minnion" Falcon fixed?
Whose ship are they getting into?
What are they doing?
How long was Luke's father a Darth Vader?
Is that Luke?
Are they best friends?
Good guys or bad guys?
Why is Star Wars why do they use guns?
Who uses the guns more - bad guys or good guys?
Who are in trouble?
How big are the asteroids?
What's the biggest good guy ship?
Why?
Where are the good guys going to land?
Will it be hard for the bad guys to find them there?
What's the good guys favorite ship?
Why?
What plane does Luke fly?
Where are they?
What's that place called?
Did their spaceship land in water?
What's that?
Is anything broken in R2?
Why did he say, "I want"?
Where's Luke going?
Who?
What's his name again?
Why does Yoda have funny ears?
What's he in?
Where's he going?
When's Hans Solo going to get frozen in this movie?
Can fire fix things?
How can heat fix things?
What's Princess Liea afraid of?
Who's that?
Are his eyes red?
What is he telling him?
Who is the baddest of the bad guys?
Why?
Was he the first bad guy in this movie?
Who was the first bad guy in the movie?
What's that?
Is that their ship?
What happened to it?
What's that?
Is that Yoda's house?
Why did he want to live in a river?
Learn what?
What did he say?
Why?
What?
800 years?
Is that how old he is?
Where's Obi Wan Kenobi?
Did he die?
You'll be scared of what?
What are they shooting?
Where are they?
Are they in a deep hole?
Is this where Hans Solo gets frozen?
What's on their face?
What's that?
What are mynoks? 
Why are they wobbling?
What does sweetheart mean?
What is it?
Is that like a bird?
Why were they inside a monster?
Did they think it was a cave?
Why did he tell Luke that Obi Wan Kenobi was dead?
Is he actually dead?
How old was he?
Was he shot?
Did he fight with light sabers?
What's he doing?
Does he have his weapons?
Does he need his weapons?
Why does he have his weapons?
For what?
Does Luke have his weapons?
What's that?
What's it doing?
Why did he say he didn't need his weapons?
Who is that?
What's he doing?
Why are they battling?
What did he do?
Why was he like, "Hmm"?
Did he see R2D2?
What's that?
Are those good guys or bad guys?
Why are they asking for the "Minnenium" Falcon?
What's happening?
What's a battle?
Why did she say shut up?
In different parts of the world are there different armies?
What's the biggest?
The Seattle army?
Is that our army?
What's that?
Why did he say, "Use The Force"?
What try?
What's he doing?
How?
Can he go under water?
Why is he like that?
Daddy, does Luke know how to use the Force?
How?
Is the plane broken?
Is it the X-Wing Fighter?
Is that inside the plane?
What's that?
Where is it?
The bad guys' ship?
Why did he say, "Nobody listens to me"?
Who's Lando?
Is Lando still alive?
Where is he?
Is he on the bad guy ship?
Who's that person hanging upsides down?
Why is he hanging upside down?
Where are his weapons?
Where are they?
Who will die?
Will Hans Solo die?
How?
If he's stuck too long?
How long?
Where's Lando?
Is that Lando?
Are those good guys or bad guys?
What does in between mean?
Why do they want to look for Lando?
Are they good good guys?
Where's Lando?
What's he doing?
Is Lando going to turn into a very, very good guy?
What's that?
What happened to C3PO?
What's he doing?
How?
He's dead?
Obi Wan Kenobi is dead?
Will he try to touch him?
He's dead, but how's he taking to him?
What's that?
How long was Obi Wan Kenobi alive?
What?
Why?
Lando was a bad guy?
Does he turn into a good guy?
What are they doing?
Why is he sitting?
Is he going to try to fix him?
What are they doing?
Why does he have those buttons right there?
Why does he feel terrible?
Are those good guys or bad guys?
Why does he say, "Shut up and listen"?
Why is his name Capt. Solo?
What ship?
The Millennium Falcon?
Can I see what happened?
What's he look like?
Why did they freeze Hans Solo?
Why did they test it on Hans Solo?
Why did they freeze him in the carbonite?
Why did they want to test it?
Is he mad?
Why?
Why is he mad?
Is the lady person mad?
What's a trap?
Did they trap R2D2?
Is he a Jedi knight yet?
Why did Luke's father want to turn into Darth Vader?
Why?
What is he doing?
Can he breathe?
Why?
Why is Chewey mad?
Which friend?
Why?
What's that?
Did they freeze Luke?
Why?
What happened to Darth Vader?
How?
Who's better?
Who won?
Who was better?
Darth Vader?
Is Luke smarter than Darth Vader?
What are they doing?
Does R2D2 have wheels under him?
Little ones or big ones?
What are they going to do?
What's that red stuff?
Where's his hand?
What's that red stuff near his eye?
Why did he say, "No"?
Does he die?
How high did he fall?
Where's his hand?
Why in the other movie does he have his hand?
How does he get his hand back?
Did he tape it like this?
Who's that?
Taking care of what?
Why?
Why did they test on Hans Solo first?
Why?
Why didn't they want him to die?
Where are they going into?
What robot?
Why does he need a robotic hand?
What are they doing?
Where?
Daddy, did they find Hans Solo?